Relationship Humor and Wisdom
Humor Heals.
There is no way to have a great relationship, a good life, without being able to laugh. Especially at yourself.
If Men Wrote The Rules
It is neither in your best interest or ours to make us take those risky Cosmopolitan quizzes together.
Anything we said becomes null and void after seven days and inadmissible in an argument.
You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.
The Woman's Point of View
Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
- Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
Why do men like smart women?
- Opposites attract.
Men's Wisdom
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to; expect an answer you do not want to hear.
Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work.
Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!
Women's Wisdom
Male Flaws
All men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit. Men have no idea what mauve is.
Men have to reach down every so often to make sure their privates are still there.
Female Flaws
Advantages of Being Female
We got off the Titanic first.
Taxis stop for us.
If we're dumb some people think it's cute.
We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
Advantages of Being Male
Gender Items
ZIPLOC BAGS - male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through it.
COPIER - female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. It is very effective when the right buttons are pushed, but it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.
HOT AIR BALLOON
WEB PAGE
SWISS ARMY KNIFE
HOURGLASS
REMOTE CONTROL
Men Are Like...
... Chocolate Bars.
... Coffee.
The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
... Commercials.
... Coolers.
Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.
... Curling Irons.
... Government Bonds.
They take way too long to mature.
... Lava Lamps.
... Parking Spots.
... Weather.
Marriage Humor
There are 6 major types of sex;
The first is Smurf Sex. This happens during the honeymoon period; you both keep doing it until you're blue in the face.
The second is Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage; you'll have sex anywhere, anytime, even in the kitchen.
The third kind is Bedroom Sex. You've calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you gotta do it in the bedroom.
The fourth kind is Hallway Sex. This is the phase in which you pass each other in the hallway
There is also a fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex. This is when you get divorced and your wife
.
Humor Heals. There is no way to have a great relationship, a good life, without being able to laugh. Especially at yourself.
JustSayYesToLove.com hopes to encourage its members to lighten up' about relationships. Approach it thoughtfully, approach it thoroughly, but always keep your sense of humor. Humor works like magic.
We thought of giving you a small sampling of the types of humor on the website that may lighten up your day.
People send in humor that is both sophisticated and less so. There is an audience for both. If you have heard of something humorous, that would bring a smile to someone's face, send it to humor@justsayyestolove.com.
Come join JustSayYesToLove.com and laugh all the way to the Justice of the Peace. | |
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